Tuesday, November 3, 2009

Silly Socrates: Excuses, Excuses

I realize I haven't posted here since August, but it's not from a lack of ideas or desire to do so. It's just that life has gotten in the way -- or perhaps, I let life get in the way of writing.

Now that the disclaimer is out of the way, I will say that I fully intend to post at least one new blog post in the near future. I want to post photos from my Boston trip last month (which I know you're all dying to see...). And who knows -- perhaps stating my intent publicly will motivate me not to be so lazy.

So what have I been up to that's kept me so busy, you ask? In notsomuch-of-a-nutshell: work stress, birthdays, anniversaries, baby showers, mother-in-law's wedding, concerts, more work stress, football games, more birthdays, a trip to Boston, and more work stress. On top of all of that, life keeps flinging big questions my way. So yeah...I'm sorting all that out, too.

In fact, I'm reminded of this quote:
"Bigger questions, questions with more than one answer, questions without an answer are harder to cope with in silence. Once asked they do not evaporate & leave the mind to its serener musings. Once asked they gain dimension & texture, trip you on the stairs, wake you at night-time....Better then to ask no questions? Better then to be a contented pig than an unhappy Socrates? Since factory farming is tougher on pigs than it is on philosophers, I'll take my chances."
-from Jeanette Winterson's 'Written on the Body'

Amid the crazy schedules, the daily stresses, and the big questions, I'm trying to keep my wits about me. I'm trying to find quiet moments (like my walk last Sunday, captured in the picture above). I'm trying to find those little spots of joy & calm to keep me sane. I'm trying to savor them, as fleeting as they may be. They mean the world to me. And believe it or not, they make this unhappy Socrates a lot more hopeful. (And yes...I realize I'm sounding very John Stewart Mills-ish here.)

So that being said, I do hope to write more here and to share some of these spots of joy. I actually found that sharing them with others helps open my eyes to seeing even more. The process of sharing makes them even more real. Just like the big questions (which can be scary and/or exciting) once they are shared or spoken, they gain dimension & texture. The moments of joy become real and show their purpose.

So that's where I am & where I have been...stuck in the realness -- the rawness -- between big questions & moments of joy. Shuffling through & occasionally getting tripped up. Pausing occasionally through the trips to dust off, pause, notice the surroundings, listening for answers and even bigger questions.

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