Passing Through Boston On The Way To Who-Knows-Where

"As the traveler who has lost his way, throws his reins on his horse’s neck, and trusts to the instinct of the animal to find his road, so must we do with the divine animal who carries us through this world." - Ralph Waldo Emerson from "The Poet"

As promised, I'm posting photos from my trip to Boston a couple weeks back. However, I've been staring at this computer screen for a good hour and a half figuring out what to write about my trip. I suppose I have a mild case of "writer's block."

I thought, well....I could sit here and run through all of the fun times that were had, like...

...sitting in a pub listening to an Irish band cover very non-Irish bands

...sipping milkshakes (on a wintry-cold day) while sitting in an oversized teacup

...eating lobster rolls & oysters at B&G Oyster House

...drinking bottles of really great wine (here & here)

...watching football in Boston's oldest bar

...traipsing through the North End on a rainy, windy night

...preventing food comas by following a huge meal with espresso & sambucca

Or maybe I could tell you about how we accidentally stumbled upon Obama's motorcade or the way to lunch.... (He happened to be in town for a fundraiser for Gov. Deval Patrick. His visit spurred some impromptu protests outside of the Westin.)

Or I could tell you about how I had always wanted to visit Boston...how I almost transferred to Berklee College of Music my sophomore year of college....how I almost moved to Boston or Providence after graduation. I could tell you that I was going to Boston to "see what I missed"...to see what things might have been like if I made other choices....

Or I could tell you how great it was to hang out with friends, with whom I can talk about anything...and laugh & eat & drink....and drink....with...

Or maybe I could talk about how great it was just to get away and have fun.


The thing is, I can't really pick any one of those things to write about because this trip didn't have "a purpose." It was planned on a whim, and it played out in a whirl. Friends & family asked why I was going, and I had little reason to tell them other than, "Why not?"

It's funny because I only found the reason(s) for the trip after I was there. As I mentioned in my last post, I have a lot of big questions to ponder right now. The trip was another reminder to just throw my reins on the horse's neck & listen to the cues of the universe. (Man, I've been having a lot of those reminders lately...)

So anyway, "that's all I got." Since I'm in the middle of my journey to wherever the heck I'm going, I can't tell you much more...other than the ride's been fun so far & I trust the universe -- this divine animal -- to carry me through. And as for Boston: "I Wuz There." See the photos for proof.

Silly Socrates: Excuses, Excuses

I realize I haven't posted here since August, but it's not from a lack of ideas or desire to do so. It's just that life has gotten in the way -- or perhaps, I let life get in the way of writing.

Now that the disclaimer is out of the way, I will say that I fully intend to post at least one new blog post in the near future. I want to post photos from my Boston trip last month (which I know you're all dying to see...). And who knows -- perhaps stating my intent publicly will motivate me not to be so lazy.

So what have I been up to that's kept me so busy, you ask? In notsomuch-of-a-nutshell: work stress, birthdays, anniversaries, baby showers, mother-in-law's wedding, concerts, more work stress, football games, more birthdays, a trip to Boston, and more work stress. On top of all of that, life keeps flinging big questions my way. So yeah...I'm sorting all that out, too.

In fact, I'm reminded of this quote:

"Bigger questions, questions with more than one answer, questions without an answer are harder to cope with in silence. Once asked they do not evaporate & leave the mind to its serener musings. Once asked they gain dimension & texture, trip you on the stairs, wake you at night-time....Better then to ask no questions? Better then to be a contented pig than an unhappy Socrates? Since factory farming is tougher on pigs than it is on philosophers, I'll take my chances."
-from Jeanette Winterson's 'Written on the Body'

Amid the crazy schedules, the daily stresses, and the big questions, I'm trying to keep my wits about me. I'm trying to find quiet moments (like my walk last Sunday, captured in the picture above). I'm trying to find those little spots of joy & calm to keep me sane. I'm trying to savor them, as fleeting as they may be. They mean the world to me. And believe it or not, they make this unhappy Socrates a lot more hopeful. (And yes...I realize I'm sounding very John Stewart Mills-ish here.)

So that being said, I do hope to write more here and to share some of these spots of joy. I actually found that sharing them with others helps open my eyes to seeing even more. The process of sharing makes them even more real. Just like the big questions (which can be scary and/or exciting) once they are shared or spoken, they gain dimension & texture. The moments of joy become real and show their purpose.

So that's where I am & where I have been...stuck in the realness -- the rawness -- between big questions & moments of joy. Shuffling through & occasionally getting tripped up. Pausing occasionally through the trips to dust off, pause, notice the surroundings, listening for answers and even bigger questions.

RIP Teddy, In His Own Words

"My brother need not be idealized, or enlarged in death beyond what he was in life; to be remembered simply as a good and decent man, who saw wrong and tried to right it, saw suffering and tried to heal it, saw war and tried to stop it."

Bits & Pieces

Well, my New York trip has come and gone. So now what?

To all of you who out there who are dying to know what I "decided" or what "grand epiphanies" I experienced, you're going to have to wait a while longer...because I'm not sure any of that will happen for a while. In fact, I'm not really sure it was ever supposed to happen while I was there anyway.

Let's just say I'm "ruminating upon the revelations" as we speak. Marinating....digesting...putting together the pieces that floated in & out of my brain over the course of the week. When I know something I'm sure I'll let you know, though, so just sit tight. In the meantime, you can enjoy these little nuggets of information that I learned during my time in the city.

- If the sky is cloudy, carry an umbrella.

- You can't let actual storm clouds enter your brain & bring you down.

- If you do get caught in a storm, just try to laugh your way through it -- and try not to get hit by lightning.

- It's okay to cry in a park. No one will bother you.

- Of course you can eat at the bar -- just tip nicely & smile pretty...you may just get free stuff.

- Enjoy moments of peace when you find it.

- Always charge your phone.

- You may seem alone, but you're really not.

- The best part of midtown is the tall buildings. They hide the storm clouds.

- I can yell at crazy people on bikes and still look like the classy one doing it.

- Clarity actually can come through drinking. (Helps, though, if your drinking partner is an old, dear friend.)

- I'm still the same girl I was 10 years ago; I just have to let her out.

- There are many ways from point A to point B. If the train's not co-operating, pick a new route.

- Sometimes the point isn't really to "find yourself"...it's just having the courage to look at a map.

- On that note, a good GPS is a nice tool to have in your pocket.


And most importantly... often times the extraordinary is just beyond the ordinary. You just have to "look up."






Oh yeah......and Amy Poehler says "Buckle up!"

Life Takes You Where It Goes....

Several weekends ago I decided to take up walking again. I've been quite the slug lately, and I needed to get moving for physical reasons --- obviously -- as well as mental reasons. (Stress relief, anyone?) The exercise has been great, and I have managed to keep it up for several weeks in a row. But what I wasn't really expecting was the almost-spiritual benefit that I gained from that first walk.

I woke up early one Saturday morning and decided to "be productive" and hit the pavement. I headed out on my "usual" 30-minute jaunt around the neighborhood with iPod in tow, complete with upbeat playlist. The sky was clear as a bell, and the temps hadn't hit the hellishly-hot marks yet; so the conditions were ripe for a stroll. As I made my way through the neighborhood, though, I decided to veer off my normal path.

To make a long story (or walk, rather) short, my 30-minute walk turned into an hour and 45 minute trek through neighborhoods, downtown Decatur, a good portion of College Ave and eventually back into Oakhurst....a total of about 6 or 7 miles. I hit my stride, enjoyed my tunes, and cleared my head.

At one point on the final leg of my "journey" I saw something that made me stop & take out my camera...I saw what I thought was the saddest piece of graffiti EVER. It read:


"Boy never wants to lose girl again."


My initial read was that these were the tormented words of a guy that just lost his girl to another man and his heart was broken. I was so moved by the rawness & the vulnerability of it that I had to take out the camera and snap a photo.


After pausing for a sec to glance at my photo another time, I made my way around to the other side of the building where I noticed this: another piece of graffiti that was obviously tied to the first one.


"Boy finds girl after too long."


It was only then that I began to realize that I read the first message out of context. My heart lifted & I snapped another shot. And as I turned around, I saw the final message in my little graffiti tryptych:






"Boy Marries Girl 6/17/09."




What I initially interpreted as a story of heartbreak & relationship ending was really one of love & new beginnings.


I willingly admit I'm a sucker for romance, but man....you have to admit this was pretty darn cool, right? My heart leapt a little and a goofy grin spread across my face. I know it seems silly, but it's crazy how graffiti scrawled across an abandoned storefront brightened my day.


When I came home, I tweeted about my find, and the response I got from my brother was:

"Americans love a happy ending."

Now, I admit, the "story" did, in fact, have a happy ending, but I'm not sure that's why I thought it was so neat. The way I saw it was it was more like this...Upon first read, I thought I had things figured out, and I reacted to that story, as I knew it, accordingly. Yet sometimes -- most of the time -- the story is different than it appears. In this case, I read the story out of context, and the real meaning/ending took me by surprise. And I think that the fact that I did read it out of context is what made it so beautiful.


I think part of my problem is that I'm either viewing my life too much "in context" or "out of context"...or that I'm even trying to put things into "context" at all. I look at decisions in a linear sense, when many times they're not linear. I get stuck on the first part of the decision and fail to see the possibility that's behind the building. I get stuck seeing the heartbreak and fail to see the love... This is true in decisions about changing jobs, changing cities, or in the past, changing relationships.


What I've learned but always seem to forget is that "Life takes you where it goes...." (to quote a favorite Juno song). Just like life led me to veering off my normal walking route one Saturday morning -- and thus showing me my little graffiti love-story -- it's going to take me "wherever it's going to take me" in the future. I need to learn to just open my eyes, breathe, and go....

And besides, who needs happy endings when the fun and the perspective comes along the way?