Friday, March 26, 2010

"Pardon me, but where have you been?"

Yes, I have not blogged since 2009. Yes, a lot has happened since last fall. I debated with myself over how to share some of this news, and finally just decided to spill the news on the blog. If you follow me on Twitter or Facebook, you may already know what's been going on. However, if you're like my mom & this blog is your only way of keeping up with me (outside of a phonecall or word-of-mouth), this post is for you.

The big news is that I'm getting a divorce. It's also one of the main reasons I've been absent from blogging for a few months, as I have been wrapped up inside my own brain for quite some time. I also didn't know what to say, and when, and to whom. If you're one of my friends and had no idea, then I apologize that this is the way you found out. I, honestly, did not know the right way to tell you via e-mail & I was too scared to have the conversation by phone. Why? Well, it wasn't an easy decision to come to, and I couldn't imagine that telling those who attended my wedding would be easy either.

There are many reasons that led to the dissolution of the marriage, and none of which I will go into in such a public forum. It was one of those situations that the problems were so far below the surface that I (or we) failed to acknowledge them for months -- years, really -- until they were too great to be fixed. Or rather, they were too far gone for me, personally, to want to fix them. Is this a personal failure? Is this just a failure of the relationship? I don't know. I do know that there were problems on both sides of the relationship -- the greater of which all landed in my own lap. And I take full responsibility for those problems.

Nevertheless, after weeks of discussions, counseling sessions, tears, hugs, fights, and some good/positive talks, T & I resolved to dissolve. I moved out of the house for several weeks in Feb/March, and T found his own place to live. I am now back living in the house with our dog, Daisy. Things are finally getting back to normal -- a new normal...a good normal.

In fact, I'm feeling better and happier than I have in a really long time. I'm finding confidence in my new independence. I'm rediscovering & nurturing passions such as cooking & reading. I'm going out & eating by myself, and overall, enjoying life.

I also began a GMAT prep course at Emory last Saturday which will continue through the end of April. I spent the last week poring thru GMAT prep books & practicing math problems that I haven't attempted since 9th grade Geometry. (A humbling experience for sure, by the way.) I hope to take the GMAT in late spring/early summer, and I will embark on the MBA application process soon after that. I have also been compiling a list of B-schools I am considering. This task is becoming increasingly daunting, as I realize almost all of the schools I am considering are top-tier B-Schools. I've never aimed this high for anything in my life. I've always settled for less and made the most of things. I don't want to settle anymore.

So yeah...a lot has happened. Life-changing events. I've neglected friends & family, as I've dealt with all of this primarily by myself. Please forgive me, but I really needed to do it in such a way. By myself. For myself.

And all in all, I think I'm dealing with it a-OK. Nevertheless, I promise to do a better job keeping people in the loop from here forward, especially with the school prospects.

On another note, I have to add this: never before has my blog title felt so appropriate. I truly feel like the good part IS next. And for the first time in a long while, I feel like I might actually get there.


Suzanna said...

So proud and happy for you. The good part is most definitely next!

Jeff said...

good luck on your journey and potentially next chapter in your life!

u got some tough competition in terms of numbers..apparently 267,000 people took the gmat last year:

i hope you reach your goals!

paigecoop said...

You're such an awesome chick. I'm sure the good part is yet to come. Rock on sister:)

ks said...

Thanks, you guys!