Thursday, April 3, 2008

Anti-Archuleta Madness

I don’t know if any of you out there watch American Idol -- as a joke, in serious, or just in passing because nothing else is on TV right now. But if you do, I really need your help. I really, really, really don’t like that David Archuleta brat, and I know I’m not the only one. See, I think he’s an over-produced stage kid with no soul to his voice, no honest connection to the songs he’s singing, and an almost-manufactured sound...a bi-product of pushy parents who "wanted their kid to be a star."

Yes, he can sing. I DO acknowledge that fact. And he’s even had a few great moments on the show. I also appreciate what he overcame with the physical strain to his vocal chords, and that he’s even able to sing at all. However, the real thing here is that he is 17....his parents pushed him that hard that he strained his nodes before the age of SIXTEEN. You do know that he was on Star Search and won, right?? He isn’t an ’up-and-comer’....he’s been doing this so long (or someone has pushed him to do it so long) that he almost lost his ability to sing before even graduating high school.

What bugs me is that his voice lacks any soul and/or connection to the songs he sings. He sounds as inauthentic to me as one of those bad Christian pop bands. (On a side note, I am a deeply spiritual person, a life-long Christian, so that was NOT a slap on Christianity....just that entirely UNMOVING, UNSPIRITUAL, UNINSPIRED shite that is spewed on Fish FM’s across the country....But that’s another topic for another time.) The point is....HE DOESN’T STIR THE SOUL. He’s cute, he’s got that sweet "look-at-me-I’m-so-shy-and-gracious-you-just-want-to-pinch-me" look that so many people are swooning over. BUT HE DOESN’T DO ANYTHING NEW.

This season is different in that it has several contestants with great talent, fresh approaches, and sounds that show that they’ve lived a little and are bringing that experience to their song. But with the hysteria around this "cute David Archuleta" people are forgetting that it’s supposed to be about the song. We’re supposed to be picking the next big ’star’.....The world has TOO MANY "David Archuletas" -- manufactured stars that peak too early before they truly find out who they are. Case in point, BRITNEY SPEARS. The poor girl was crafted by her parents, managers and record execs, and never had the chance to make silly teenage mistakes until she was a grown woman. And look how well that turned out.

Let’s start some sort of a viral web campaign to 1) Help save the sanctity of song from any more uninspired CRAP that is bound to come from a David Archuleta AI album, 2) Help give people like Michael Johns, Carly Smithson or Brooke whats-her-name (who I really think is cool even though i forget her last name) a REAL fighting chance to make an AI album then BREAK AWAY and create some good stuff on their own (like Fantasia did), and 3) Help save this David Archuleta freak from his parents and the AI machine that will break him later in life.

VOTE FOR EVERYONE BUT DAVID ARCHULETA. Post ANTI-David Archuleta stuff wherever you can. I know many of you will say, "why don’t you just stop supporting American Idol? Turn it off. It’s just glorified-karaoke anyway." To that I say, AI is a machine that is not yet ready to break. As much as you may want it to, it won’t break yet. So, if you can’t beat em, join em. See that there IS some good within AI -- for example, the 3 people I listed above -- and see that you can do something to raise up that good. If David Archuleta wins, your previous assumptions about AI are correct. And nothing changes....the machine keeps going. You can either do nothing, keep the machine, and get shitty Archuleta albums and an inevitable True Hollywood Story about him and his demise 5-6 years from now. OR you can vote for someone different. ALTER THE MACHINE. MAKE IT BETTER. If you’re going to have to live with it, let’s at least make it produce something decent.

HELP ME START THIS VIRAL ANTI-ARCHULETA CAMPAIGN. Vote him off. Save him. Save music. Save the world. :)


Dan said...

I agree, He sucks.
All his songs sound the same, his voice has no edge to it.
There isn't much pitch change. He's only progressing because they like they way he looks, acts, and don't want to hurt his feelings.

ks said...

too bad he's going to make it all the way to the finals based on the 11-year old girl vote.

Anonymous said...

yay ks!! and dan and whover wrote that article, go screw yourselves and stop being jealous :)

ks said...

Hmmmm...jealous of whom? We weren't competing so how could we be jealous? That's a pretty clever comeback. (Rather Ricki-Lake-audience-member-esque...)

And besides, he lost. He's a good singer, just not great....I just wanted him to grow a little. With a few more years under his belt, he'll get a little more soulful & interesting. (And out from the clutches of a stage dad.)

Anonymous said...

Well he proved you what an idiot this blogger is. Um 4 comments since April.. yea..he had the best debut single in 18months. You don't have to like him but obviously this kid is sensational. And your blog is all lies. He had vocal problems from a cold that over took his vocal chord and settled in one of them. Well hes rich and wealthy and famous and you have nobody caring about what you write about. Seems the only thing you proved is nobody cares about you or what you have to say. nice. Oh and by the way im a Cook fan but ARchies is Cooks little bro so i gotta stick up for him. As will most Cook fans,, since Archie fans do the same for us.

ks said...

Wow, you're pretty cool. And pretty courageous for commenting under "Anonymous." Your name 'Gil' by chance? (inside joke) I am the blogger, BTW. (Please refer to the picture and name at the top of the page.) Glad you found my 4-month old post while you had nothing better to do than to Google last season's American Idol. Don't you have algebra homework or something better to do?

And thank you for reminding me to go turn on Comments moderation.